Prathima's Miles & Milestones

Date a guy who has strong feelings for you. Well, there’s no metric that will exactly tell you if the person you are pursuing is truly determined to be beside you until the end. A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARDS her, and not away from her. Be with someone who always wants to know how your day was.

A guy with a really great sense of humour is worth chasing because not only he is entertaining but also you can tell that he is making an effort to make you smile. He will never let conversations with you run dry. He will do his best to really get to know you by asking the right questions. He will show you that he is interested in learning what makes you tick.

If you find a guy whose love for adventure and fitness matches yours, then you are a lucky girl. So either you end up working out and challenging each other, trekking and hiking or relaxing in the pool making memories together. Your choice of food and grocery shopping also resonates here. You will surely see his name pop up on your phone screen each time he remembers you. And that is enough proof that he is dedicated to making you feel like you matter. I don’t need a man to solve my problems. I need a man who won’t become a problem.

But if he genuinely cares about you, he will make sure that you will not part ways with him at the end of the day feeling confused and conflicted. It will be his goal to slowly earn your trust until you fully open up to him. He will not send any mixed signals for you to keep guessing.

Choose someone who doesn’t believe in gender-based roles on a day to day life. Women don’t always belong to the kitchen. A girl can make a better business deck and also excel at her culinary skills. Or a girl can crack a business deal but may not be great in making round Chapathis! Look for someone who is equally responsible for finances. A girl should always choose to be independent financially. When it comes to wedlock, I prefer that the expenses have to be shared between both the bride and the groom equally. No gender bias. How can you trust to lead your life with a partner who doesn’t believe in equality?

To get ahead, it’s often not enough to make good professional choices in your job. It helps to make solid relationship choices, too. Success is often best achieved in a stable context. The same way that it’s easier to do well in school if you come from a supportive family, it’s easier to do well at work if you have a partner who understands and encourages you. I am very impressed with Sheryl Sandberg’s lines — “You can date whoever you want, but you should marry the nerds and the good guys, the guys who want an equal relationship. Guys who want to support your career.”

Take the initiative if you wish to approach, someone you have feelings for or someone you admire and want to spend your life with that person. You ask, and you ask early, and you are not afraid of offending. If they’re going to be offended by the answer, you don’t want to date them anyway. Of course, you don’t need a romantic partner to get ahead. There are many advantages to going solo, including increased independence and flexibility, as some of the most high-achieving men and women in history. If you do choose to partner up, though, choose wisely. Figure out who “the good guys” are, the ones who will support and encourage your achievements and not be put off by them. And don’t overlook the nerds.

Confidence is the key, ladies. Look confident in your skin and it looks like you don’t need a man, which makes them want you even more. You need to show you have a healthy life that isn’t influenced by a guy. You need to show him that you’re content without a man. And honestly, you should be happy without a guy. Have fun and flirt with him. If you want him to chase you, show that you’re interested in him. You have to give him a reason to chase you.

The worst realization anyone can get have is when they start to notice that the guy they are trying to chase is not that emotionally invested in them. This thought is a dangerous one to entertain, but very important. Because it is pointless to continue running after someone who constantly puts you on the backburner. No one deserves to feel like they are not a priority. The guy who sees a future with you will let you know that you are part of his schedule irrespective of whether you catch up every day or not.

It is understandable that there is no such thing as a perfect guy. Something about him will disappoint you once in a while. He will have qualities that you will not like. But when you see the cracks forming and loopholes appearing, your special connections with him should never weaken. Otherwise, there is a problem that you have been putting off that you need to solve immediately. If your heart beats wildly for him, you will always find something lovely in his imperfections.

Honesty and loyalty are two important things that should be present in every relationship. Aside from a guy’s physical appearance, you also have to consider if he has good intentions. Be aware of the way he talks to you. It might be difficult to catch a lie in a conversation, but you can somehow get clues in his facial gestures and body language. Asking him whether he is seeing other people is a question you deserve an answer of. The last thing that you need is to be emotionally invested with a guy who is not that serious about committing to you. Look for someone who says —. “Look, I have a playlist for you” or something on the similar lines to know each other well.

Choose a guy who behaves gentlemanly, who is courteous, one displays chivalry, respects all women equally, someone who can lead you spiritually, one who responds to your calls or texts quickly, taller than you, one who can buy you a Masala Dosa over a Pizza or Pasta (the typical South Indian girl inside me speaks out!), of course allow him to be a little nasty at times. Marry a man who calls you back after an argument just to remind you that no matter how difficult things get, he isn’t going to leave you.

Not all your dates are going to be fun. A lot of times they are memorable, but sometimes you are also going to go home tired and a little heartbroken. The good news is that you get better from experience. You learn more after dating a few guys. You know what you need to work on, what you should never say in front of him, how to make eye contact. But most importantly, you slowly get to realize the kind of guy you should be going after.

Remember that you are looking for someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, not a temporary one. As much as possible, do not waste your time with a guy who does not make you feel important and valued. Ask yourself if you think he will stick around even when your relationship with him becomes boring. Pay attention to the efforts he is making.

A man who wants to be part of your world for good will always find a way to be connected to you. Look for someone who is willing to work as an equal. You cook together, do laundry together and spend together. Make sure you go dutch (spilt the bills) and behave the real independent women you are!

Be ready to drop him if he loses it. Do not waste on men who are clearly not a potential match. If he’s not meeting your standards, discourages you in pursuing your ambitions, takes wrong decisions even after narrating the consequences, financially unstable and dependable, you should be prepared to let him go. I know you like being chased, but listen, if he’s everything a girl wants but never replies to your texts until days later, drop him. You deserve a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. Take off those running shoes and give your legs and your heart a break. If he disappears, its because he’s not the right guy for you. If he was the right guy for you… well, he would be with you.

If you notice that you are the one who keeps on reaching out first, it is okay to assume that he is not as interested in you as you are to him. And it is probably the time that you move on to the next one.