Prathima's Miles & Milestones

Credits: Mike Cohn, http://scrummasterlove.com

• I like long walks on the beach, cuddling in front of a fire, and drawing trend lines through burndown charts. I also like comparing velocity across teams — it motivates them.
• I’m a Scrum purist. Let’s meet for (up to) 15 minutes for a few days to see if we’re compatible. If so, we’ll plan a sprint together.
• I’ve memorized the Scrum Guide and do everything by the book. Date me and you’ll get twice the satisfaction in half the time.
• They’re called requirements for a reason: they’re required. Don’t date me unless you can fulfill all my requirements, including the ones I add in the last sprint.
• If I said you have a beautiful backlog, would you hold it against me? I only work with teams that let me talk during the daily scrum. A lot.
• Do you have what it takes to make the top of my backlog? If so, tell me what you did on your last date, what you’ll do on your next and any impediments to dating you.
• I used to be a project manager until my boss told everyone to call me a Scrum Master. Nothing else changed, though, did it?
• Is this field required? I keeping clicking “Submit Profile” and it doesn’t work. But I don’t get an error message. Who wrote the user stories for this site?
• Is this field required? I keeping clicking “Submit Profile” and it doesn’t work. But I don’t get an error message. Who wrote the user stories for this site?
• I got 100% on the CSM exam and hold 18 different agile certifications. My favorite part of a relationship is the retrospective every two weeks.
• A team once asked me if they could refactor. I said it sounded like they’d screwed something up. And if they wanted to fix it, that’s what weekends are for.
• I see nothing wrong with also being the team’s Scrum Master. They’re going to do what I tell them anyway so why pretend there’s someone to protect them.
• Working software over comprehensive documentation means the team should do what I want without me writing anything down for them.

If I would be famous, I would be famous for:

• Cheating at Planning Poker
• Last arrived late to a meeting in 2002
• Dreams in user stories
• Has high acceptance criteria
• Loves hiking, hates waterfalls
• Definition of Done Personified.
• I’m hard to please. I want it all.
• I change my mind a lot.
• Prioritizes ruthlessly
• No, you can’t do any refactoring
• My backlog is as well-groomed as I am.
• Gets others to write my backlog.